Saturday, 23 May 2015

Great Expectations

I was meant to go for a run yesterday. It didn't happen but not for lack of motivation. When I went for my run on Tuesday I pushed myself a bit too hard trying to hit a certain time. My legs were still quite sore yesterday (even after a full rest day and a yoga day) so while I could have tried running anyway on Friday I probably would have ended up doing myself more harm than good, especially given the extra mile I was meant to be doing. My legs felt slightly more normal this morning so off I went and while it was definitely not a pleasant experience it could have been much worse. I ran 3.12 miles in 38:45. Slower than I thought I would do it which is a bit disappointing,

This is my main problem, I think. I expect too much from myself. Partly in a naive "it can't be that hard" type of way, but also in an impatient "why aren't I improving faster" sort of way. I can't describe how frustrating I found it yesterday not being able to go for my run, even if deep down I knew it was the right thing to do for my body. I know that at this stage all I should be doing is just going out there and enjoying it and be happy that I manage to run the distance at all, without worrying about speed, but I can't help it. Every two mile run I've done so far has inevitably found me checking my watch to see if I am going to make it home faster than the last time. Which I have, every time. While this makes me very happy, I think it is also part of why I am fairly disappointed with today's performance. Before I set off this afternoon I tried to guess how long it would take me to run my three miles. But I based this prediction on my times and speeds from my two mile runs. I should have known that keeping up that pace for an extra mile wouldn't have been possible at this stage but, being pig-headed like I am, I figured I could probably make it home in 34 minutes. When that time (and an extra four minutes) ticked by on my watch it irritated me. I felt like I had failed. Even worse, this run gave me my first look at what my 5K running time could be and, I have to say, I didn't like it. 

This is what I'm talking about, though. I need to remind myself that this is still early days, this is all still new for my body, that I still have six weeks until race day and that I just need to cut myself some slack sometimes. It's easy to write it down here say this is how it's going to be from now on. Taking my own advice next time I look at my watch mid-run might not be so easy. 

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